Up Yours Truly

A fairy tale about software development

Posts Tagged ‘Colleague

Mohamed Abdullah – Systems Administrator

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Mohamed AbdullahThis dude is our “root”. When Iraq got into this.. eh.. “inconvenient” situation a few years ago, Mohamed asked for shelter as he claims to be a pacifist. The AK47 assault rifle in his photo is legitimate and purchased from eBay for self defense purposes only. Here is the proof:

Mohamed’s Firearm Possession Permit. Valid, of course.

In fact, you should consider getting one too. I’ve heard they have discounts for mass purchases. Here is the ad Mohamed gave me a while ago:

Get guns off the streets - buy one yourself!

It happened that Dizzy Jones was the one who noticed his talent. Believe it or not but Mohamed Abdullah is the best systems administrator you can have. After he got hired at SHIT Inc. all employees suddenly stopped complaining about router configurations, proxy restrictions, broken keyboards, no Internet connection, etc. Isn’t it wonderful?

However, this great guy has a small issue – he’s not a social person. But you won’t find a good systems administrator that is. That must be another law of physics. First law of physics was “There is no designer that is not gay”. I’m going to start writing them down somewhere. Mohamed also lacks a sense of humor but that’s fine – different cultures laugh at different things.

When asked a question “What do you do after work, Mohamed?” he knits his brows and answers “I SET UP FIREWALLS, WHY?”.

For the unbelievably low budget spent on hardware for the past year Dizzy Jones entitled Mohamed Abullah as “Employee of the Year 2007” and gave him this valuable gift CD with authentic autograph on it:

Valuable Gift CD with Dizzy Jones’ autograph!

Be sure to say hi to this dude next time you see him on metro! Don’t be afraid – deep inside he’s friendly and sensitive!

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Written by Ken Benchmark Jr.

January 28, 2008 at 12:23 pm

Willy Benton – Senior Web specialist, designer and programmer

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Willy BentonWilly is special. Not in the “Special Olympics” kind of way, simply special. He’s got awesome talent of programming HTML with Macromedia Dreamweaver IDE. Many were amazed of how innovative he gets when it comes to programming web pages. Willy has worked in SHIT for years, he is one of the oldest and most respected developers around. I’m absolutely sure he is one of the key members behind W3C, though Willy denies it as he is a decent, unspoiled person that refuses to accept his great achievements.

On the personal side, he’s got truly immense sense of humor which he tends to express by emailing funny pictures and YouTube links to colleagues all day long. Have I mentioned that he is the most stylish software developer I met? Great hairdo, fancy outfit – any woman in our company would die for him.

Despite of Willy’s gorgeous looks, all his achievements are the result of his knowledge and wisdom. He recently realized that his wizardry of HTML programming has reached the limit of perfection therefore he moved to a next level – the wonderful land of PHP. Nobody has a doubt that he will soon overcome the best specialists of this beautiful programming language. SHIT Inc. should start worrying about Zend taking him over as a core PHP internals developer.

Some of Willy’s award-winning methodologies will be secretly revealed under “Best Practices” section which will appear on this blog really soon, so stay tuned! A great tribute of his upcoming PHP development success must go to his weapon of choice – Macromedia Dreamweaver:

The Dreamweaver

When asked a question “Willy, what inspires you the most?”, he mysterious grins and says “I think it’s Chuck.”.

Written by Ken Benchmark Jr.

January 25, 2008 at 11:14 am